The way I spent summer 2010

So I saw this summer as 2.5 months of opportunity. I was working making $$$.$$ for 4 days of work, booking shoots back to back and I had just met 2 great guys……mmmmm life was good.

However, as the summer went on, everything took a turn for the worst. The kids’ parents were pissing me off by not picking their kids up on time forcing me to quit. Photo shoots were still paying great and giving me awesome exposure. Meeting 2 great guys ws just that…..meeting 2 great guys but eventually having to choose just one.

So here I was without a job (again), re-vamping  my spending addiction, partying every week, and breaking hearts. To add on the pile, I had to cancel my maternal family reunion.

what the hell happened???

Something had gone horribly wrong and the summer was nearly over! Come on…..who am I? I’m not someone to just lay down and let life Ike Turner me…no no no. So I arose from my noon wake-up call, midday Maury re-run, Oreo cookie dough ice cream infused coma, chose a significant other, got back in the contributing writer game for glamourina.com, set up my teaching  job, and I’m currently re-registering for fall semester.

To make it all the better, the ride or die family members(Monica, Tanda, and Veronica) said “The reunion is cancelled? Oh. Well… we’re still coming down”. All the sh***y things that had gone on, just vanished from my memory. This ragtag group of girls from Detroit has kept me laughing and cursing like a sailor for the last 2 days. I took them to the city last night to party their little old hearts out and they had a great time. Thanks to my good friends at DDM, Marjean, RaRa(for all the shout outs on the mic), and the crazy staff at OZIO, I will forever be their “baby cousin that lavish lived it in DC”.

Life can be like this sometimes. You make plans but, through no fault of your own, you get thrown off the horse. Well I didn’t get back on the horse. Oh no. I looked around to confirm no one saw me fall and in true DMV fashion yelled “FUCK THAT HORSE” and hailed a cab.

Charlie Will<—][—>Charlie does….and Charlie’s back!!!

Open UP TO BETTER SEX AMERICA!!

OPEN UP TO BETTER SEX America!!!

By: “Charlie Will”

Americans are bombarded by sexual stimuli all the time. I mean they show male enhancement commercials at 12 in the afternoon. What they hell? What happened to the days when these types of naughty commercials and sex-line advertisements were in the dark shroud of midnight?

I’m not surprised though. America is trying to bring influences from other countries to better themselves. We make Japanese game shows stupid, Japanese horror movies whack, and European sex ads….boring. These ENZYTE commercials feature a dry ass white guy surrounded by flabby Stepford wives in cookie cutter middle-America. Is this supposed to convince men to get penis pills? In Europe, these ads have hot women washing sports cars, wrestling in JELL-O, or dressed up as school girls. Seeing images like that and not being able to get aroused physically would make men shove out all types of greenback.

These toned down American versions explain why Americans have such suck ass sex lives. Why do you think these Republican men risk all they have worked for to explore separate secret sex lives? Look at their wives! Look at their lives! Why wouldn’t they. America has this forced image of a monogamous man and woman doing it missionary in a modest home with a crucified Jesus hanging over their bed. I’m bored just writing it.

Its time for Americans to explore their sexual prowess. In Amsterdam you can have sex in the Vondelpark (http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2008/mar/08031409.html), smoke marijuana which heightens your libido and stamina, and there are sex clubs where you can live out fantasies. I’ll write about the Netherlands on a separate occasion because they also practice euthanasia for the sick, elderly, and handicapped, were the first European country to legalize gay marriage, and have government subsidized abortion up to about 2-3 months. The Dutch just really want everyone to be happy!

Back to the topic, we as Americans need a release. We need to explore what we like, what we don’t like, and everything in between. Yes there are things you might try that you’ll never want to try again, but that’s what we call exploration! Isn’t that what our fore fathers did? Travel un-chartered terrain and such? Sure it was tough and they encountered a lot of obstacles, but the rewards were immeasurable. The same applies to your sexuality; the reward of trying new things is priceless once you find your niche.

How do you go about doing this Charlie? ‘Tis quite simple to start once you’re open to it. You network. Have a dinner party with close friends and ask them each to bring another close friend. Once, the hosting level has reached the “comfortable dial” you bring up the topic of sexuality and sexual exploration. Trust me, if you have a few alpha males and dominating women in the mix among a few freaks and soft-spoken characters, the conversation will take off without effort. Once the topics branch out, you interject your personal need like “I like to dominate and take full control” or “Yeah I’ve always wanted to see what it was like with 2 girls” you’ll spark the attention of that person who feels the same. This person is your Newton and you are Gottfried. You both think of ideas independently then bring them together to form something ingenious. Eventually you will find a person who has all the answers, all the knowledge, and will help you get to where you want to be. Let’s call this person Galileo.

Don’t be put off by my “Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?” vocabulary names that you’ve forgotten over the years. Go wikipedia it.

Point being is that you can’t be afraid to explore your options. I’ve talked to a lot of older people who are trying to renew their life. Trust them when they say “It’s hard to step outside of your comfort zone when you’ve been there for half a century. Plus people aren’t very willing to try new things with you when you get that old.” That’s the truth. You may find a nice hot piece of meat willing to try some bondage or nude modeling thing now, but once you both start pruning up, it’s very unlikely to happen.

So take my advice. Step out of the box. Watch some porn. Seriously you guys watch some porn. All types of porn. See what sparks your interest. I’m not telling anyone to go out and screw everyone. I’m suggesting that you and your Newton practice safe sex and start out on a Christopher Columbus blind exploration.

Have fun everyone, and leave your comments!

Charlie Will<–][–> Charlie does.

STUPID WOMEN with a plan

There’s a reason why I don’t hang out with too many females: you never quite know what they’re up to.

I take men’s sides on debates like on my previous post “Men vs. Women Part 1:Commitment”. I’m not an anti-feminist, I’m just anti-stupid women. Now I want to take that to a new level:

STUPID WOMEN WITH A PLAN

I was watching Maury today and it pissed me off. It pissed me off! This woman said “I know he’s been keeping our relationship a secret from her, but he needs to take care of his baby.” [BACKGROUND: A woman named Christmas (yeah we’ll talk about that later) was sleeping with her ex boyfriend who she knew was now married to this woman Cherie. Knowing the situation, she decided to have a baby with this lowlife man and now was yelling at him about not claiming her child. When Christmas came out, the cheating man and Cherie decided to yell at Christmas calling her a hoe, home wrecker, and a slut.] My problems with these women are as follows:

  1. Cherie had forgiven this man for earlier infidelities
  2. Christmas knew this man was now married
  3. Christmas knew this man had no want of a relationship with her
  4. Christmas decided to have a child with this man
  5. This man had unprotected sex with this woman

Most people will say its this man’s fault for being unfaithful, he caused all this to happen. Charlie feels that women did not come as far as they did in equality to not take control of their own destinies. If you caught this man cheating on you plenty of times before, what makes you stay? “Oh but I love him, and he said he won’t ever do it again!”

I feel like women should cheat on a boyfriend who’s in love with them. Only then will women understand that if a man cheats on you, he doesn’t give a sh** about you! Love is different from respect. Only when a woman lives the life of an unfaithful man will they learn the disrespect of  breaking monogamy.

So Cherie could be living a totally different life if she hadn’t forgiven him. What makes you think it’s your responsibility to fix this man? A man only learns how to be faithful once a woman he cares about leaves him for good. Your heartbreak and forgiveness means nothing to a man unless he cares a great deal about you. Seeing as how he cheated on you, I doubt he does.

Now she’s stuck with this cheater, 3 of his kids, and a future full of other women.

Christmas. Christmas. Christmas is a stupid woman with a plan. She tried to trap this man. She’s so caught up in a jealous vindictive woman’s mentality that she’s lost sight of herself. She wants to be that woman who sings “I GOT YOUR MAN AND YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT”. Now I love that song, but to  relay that message into your real life actions, is a problem. Why are you chasing a man who’s in a relationship with someone else to just gloat about it? If he really had something for you, he’d be with you. So here Christmas is admitting she knew he was keeping the relationship a secret but now she wants him to take care of her bastard child. What if he had turned out to be the father? This woman’s plan would’ve been a success.

Women like Christmas need to be put on watch. You think you’re a pimp, a player, and are smarter than these women, but little do you know they have a plan. The most notorious woman with a plan to enrich her life and destroy yours for fun would have to be soap opera character Erica Kane. Erica Kane was a ruthless bi**h. Oh she had a plan and even if screwing you over wasn’t apart of said plan, she’d do it just for fun. Singer Aaliyah had it down with her song Erica Kane:

Verse 1

She’s back on the streets
And free for the night
Fill you with grief
She cuts like a knife
Make you do things that no others could do
She’ll turn a professor into a fool
Oh she ain’t hard to get, the girl gets around
Those that she met, they’re destined to drown
She’ll make you change like you never believed
She’d turn a working man into a thief
Oh…..

Chorus
She’s Erica, Erica, Erica, Erica
Yo, yo she’s Erica, Erica, Erica
She’s Erica, Erica, Erica, Erica
She’s Erica, Erica, Erica (Erica Kane)
She’s Erica, Erica, Erica, Erica
Yo, yo she’s Erica, Erica, Erica
She’s Erica, Erica, Erica, Erica
She’s Erica, Erica, Erica
Erica Kane

Verse 2:
A walk on the block
She’s at it again
She’ll be your friend
As long as you spend
I know she’s torn whole families apart
She’ll shoot a poison arrow straight through your heart
Oh this is the day for Erica Kane
With nothing to lose, all for her to gain

She’ll make an honest man steal from his folks
And drain a millionaire until he goes broke

Chorus
She’s Erica, Erica, Erica, Erica
Yo, yo she’s Erica, Erica, Erica
She’s Erica, Erica, Erica, Erica
She’s Erica, Erica, Erica (Erica Kane)
She’s Erica, Erica, Erica, Erica
Yo, yo she’s Erica, Erica, Erica
She’s Erica, Erica, Erica, Erica
She’s Erica, Erica, Erica
Erica Kane
(repeat)

Bridge:
I really don’t think you should mess around
Cause all she’ll do (all she can do is run you down)
And there’s nothing for you to gain (there’s nothing to gain)
And she goes by this name

Chorus
She’s Erica, Erica, Erica, Erica

So women and men, be careful. Women if you notice you have a friend who’s an Erica Kane in her life, get her out of your life ASAP! Once she drains everyone else, she’ll turn her sights to you.

Men, if you think you’re just using her for sex, be weary of what she’s using you for.

Charlie Will<–][–>Charlie does.

Is it just me or is that rude?

How I tell my stories is by setting the tone of the environment, tell the details, and leave you with a question. So here goes.

It was a cold and rainy Monday in March here in Maryland. It was the type of day when you feel uncomfortable in your own skin. Everything is moist, and making squishy sounds, and on top of that you can no longer feel your extremities.

So here I am waiting for the bus to leave Montgomery College and of course my fingers are paralyzed and cannot dig out the coins necessary. I finally muster up the strength to fight through the pain and find a seat. Now comes on the handicapped man and elderly woman who require a total of 3 seats. I never think twice to give up my seat to others. Well, as long as I know I have hand sanitizer to rid me of my germ phobia. An Asian young gentleman gives up his seat. An Indian young lady reluctantly follows suit after looking around to see if anyone else will do so first. I look around to see who else is left sitting. What do I see? Young black females and males.

Here’s the question: Well you already know what the question is don’t you? Yes. Yes you do. Is it just me, or are young black males and females just unnecessarily rude and manner free? I’m not racist but I do notice things in my community. It seems like the younger generation gets respect from their peers by disrespecting others. How do you feel about that? Please let me know. Lets start a dialogue.